Every meal doesn't have to be a treat

The phone rings and it is my mother.

"Candi, my medication bills have hit over $500 this month" says my mom in desperation.

And we have the same conversation that we have had for years. The food choices that she makes are killing her slowly. She is Diabetic, over-weight, and has wicked-bad Arthritis. Despite being a Diabetic for 30 years her "insides" have really maintained themselves. 

This is a perfect time to mention that my Grandmother is at least 95 years old, lives in her own home, and still has the figure of a 16 year old dancer.

"You have to eat to feel good. You can't LOVE to eat anymore!" I say.

"I don't know how. I haven't figured it out. After all this time, I feel like I am not wealthy enough to be over-weight. I cannot afford the Insulin" says my mother.

And there is it. She cannot afford her medication. But if she controlled the food going in, as much as she worries about me and my brother (we're in our 40's), she could be FREE of all this stress and financial-obligation. She could just be healthy. 

"There is no magic pill" I say to her and more to myself. I say it a lot. It is all about choices. New choices ... grilled eggplant on the BBQ ... Bad choices ... cheese popcorn! It always come back to the Cheese Popcorn with me?!!?

Choosing to recover and try again .. every single day .. for every meal.

For at least two decades, I would eat lunch and plan for dinner. I am not proud to admit that. 

I can CHOOSE to no longer be ashamed. I choose to set myself FREE!

"Every meal doesn't have to be a treat" I say to my mother.

"I feel like the universe is telling me something, Candi. Daddy didn't live long enough to know what this all feels like. He chose to eat himself to death at 59 because he couldn't see living any other way" she says.

"He missed out on the grand-kids. He missed out on a lot, Mama. Considering the genes you have, you can choose to not miss out on anything" I say.

I don't want to miss a moment.  Tonight I am making grilled baby Bok Choy. 

Living the dream every day.