How 2 chocolate cookies took me down

I walked past the chocolate cookies a million times. Cookies are not my thing. Cakes aren't either. I make brownies at least every other week and never touch them. Sweets don't really get me going. Now Cheese Popcorn is an entirely separate beast. I like it salty! When I can finally give up all the salty treats ... I will finally be thin. One day it will mean enough. (WOW! Pulling no punches here, I do claim to be the Honest Wife.)

I ate correctly all day. I started the day with my lemon water. Half and hour later, I ate Greek yogurt and a cup of tea. I went back to work and walked the dog an hour later. I  drank another cup of tea and made an oatmeal.  Lather. Rinse. Repeat. This is how it goes lately but it is working. I have energy and I am not tired from 3-5pm. I am also a tad hungry at all times and moderately full from time to time. I also have no stomach aches now. 

If you have known me for 5 minutes or forever you will know that I always have stomach aches. I remain looking well-nourished despite the fact that I really do not eat that much anymore. Sins of the past ... it takes 5 minutes to gain wait and 5 months to take it back off ...

Back to my day. Around 11:30am I had an apple. I followed that up with a lunch of Tuna salad with avocado and lettuce.

Then there was the crackers - Saltines. AWESOME with tuna. I didn't have mayo and I used avocado as my fat. I gave myself 4 crackers and I ate 4 more. My protein to carbs-from-grain ratio was so high I felt in the clear. The day went on and then it was 2 o'clock. I was full energy but I was hungry.

I walked into the kitchen to make more tea. I had walked the dog three times today so I decided 1 cookie was fine. It was amazing. I ate it slowly and savored each bite. I prefer the non-chocolate dough parts. They are chewy and sweet. I nurtured that cookie. 

Is this what thin people feel when they eat 1 cookie? Is this what discipline feels like? 

I then went back to work. After 10 minutes I desperately wanted a second cookie. I didn't even consider having some yogurt or a fruit. The grapes in the fridge were way too tart and they made me sad since they were HUGE and I expected them to be sweeter. They felt like a purchase-FAIL. I also had Strawberries in the fridge but I was saving those for the kids.

I drank more water and more tea. Fast forward another hour and I was exhausted. My head was cloudy and I couldn't look at my computer screen for another moment. I saw the crumbs next to my tea. I don't even remember eating the 2nd cookie.

The truth was before me. 2 Chocolate cookies had taken me down.